Verified answer

you could try getting one at the zoo

Bad idea, do you realise how dangerous chimpanzees are ? they have the physical strength of 10 grown adult men, even without the claws and teeth, it could beat you to death with physical strength alone, it's wild instincts will eventually kick in and it'll try to kill you and then you have a problem because if you try to give it away to a zoo no zoos will accept it.

You should get a brain first, chimps are wild animals, a chimp is very aggressive, it can cause serious injury to a human being, it is not the claws that you have to worry about, they have a savage bite.

Look at the mirror and there you see a chimpanzee

Declaw a chimp? You'd better do a LOT of research first.

Declawing a chimpanzee will not stop it from attacking you, and you'll probably get beaten to death if you do that. If you're trolling, shame on you. If you're serious, find yourself an alternative pet.

Oh wait, nevermind. I see you're trolling.