Feeling guilty about moving out?
I’m moving out of my mom’s house tomorrow to a different state. I will be living with my boyfriend and if things go wrong between, I have a lot saved up in my bank so I can continue living independently.
I have everything planned, I have a job, all of my documents & im financially stable. My mom is very abusive, emotionally physically and mentally. She continues to try to control my every move like I’m an child when I am an adult. She even physically forced me not to move out before which made me develop an even worse fear of her but I won’t allow it to stop me from living independently. I will not be telling her I’m leaving but I will leave a letter on the screen door THEN text her so she’ll know. Afterwards I’m changing my number because she has hit and threaten me before. I can’t help but to feel guilty because she’s planning on visiting my grandfather in another country & I won’t be there to watch my siblings. I have one that’s old enough to take my place as the oldest but they do not listen to her. What should I do? I already have my place so it’s too late to turn back IF I wanted to.
Actualización:Sorry for the typos!
Answers & Comments
Actually, it's a good thing you already have your place. Your mom sounds emotionally abusive, but it's human nature to want to stick around with what's familiar. Also, even though she's been awful to you, this doesn't mean you don't love her. But...these are the thoughts that get people in trouble. You do not want to be that 40 year old living in mom's basement and this is how it starts. Bad moms fill their "kids" with guilt, and that makes leaving harder. It also means leaving is more urgent. Stick with your plan and try to see a counselor once you're settled. This is the best gift you can give yourself. You'll learn how to manage your adult relationship with your mom as 2 equals, which is very emancipating.
i wouldnt feel guilty about it if shes abusive
Hi, bless you.
I read a book on toxic parents and it changed my life. Theres no turning back. Forget your siblings and Europe. She will find ways to manipulate and control you there, or just be ridiculously fake around everyone making you seem like the problem child.
It is so smart of you to have a back up plan.
I'm kind of stuck in a bad relationship and am broke poor, but it beats living with my abusive mom who still says mean things about my gd, life, and criticizes me, asks me to move back in.
My mom hit me too, threatened my stuff, dogs.
Shes not allowed to visit, and I blocked her number.
Next time I move, I'm not giving my address or number.
She threatened to cut me out of the will and house to inherit. So be it. It's not worth the drama or strings attached.
Plus my mom is completely opposite politically and is not supportive anymore.
I suggest you don't get married out of desperation, but do not even think of going back.
I have no intention to see my mom or siblings for at least 10 years, and dont care if never again at all because they take her side and were mean to me too.
Good luck to you.
Go and move, do not worry about Mom. It is not your responsibility, it is all hers. Let her worry about your siblings. It time to do what you want anot worry about anyone but you. And if ever she hits yoou, calll the police and have her charged. Good luck in your new home